Where do I even start??? I guess the beginning would be the best place... As I had mentioned a few months ago, Justin and I had been trying for about a year and a half to get pregnant. In April I decided to make a Dr. apt to get the ball rolling. The Dr. suggested we start me on a low dosage of clomid... So we did just that. I was apprehensive about getting on clomid, because I had heard it could have some serious effects on your body, emotions, attitude, and other things. We needed to do something so I thought, lets give it a shot, little did I know that these 5 small pills would change my life forever!
Four weeks went by and you know the drill, of course first sign is Aunt Rose was late... being in this position so many times before I told myself I would not take a test till I was a least a week late... Well the week came, and I decided it was time. I still was feeling like there was no way I got pregnant on my first round of clomid. After so many months of trying I think you become numb to the fact that you could ever get pregnant again, and as a defense mechanism you tell yourself a head a time it wasn't going to happen to me. Well it came time and that little stick proved me wrong. My hand shook as I sat there and waited for those two pink lines to show up. I honestly couldn't believe it! I was over the top excited! I immediately facetimed Justin to show him, we both were over joyed with emotion! What we had wanted and prayed for so long was finally here, and let me tell you it was here! I immediately was sick, lethargic, grumpy, moody, and I'm sure there are a few more adjectives my husband could think of, but we don't have enough time for that! So of course I immediately set up an appointment with my OB for my 8 week checkup.
When I got there my Dr. was asking me all the normal questions about my previous pregnancy, delivery, and baby. He then proceeded to check me to see if everything was looking ok... When he was done checking me, he looked at me and said, "Tell me again how big your last baby was?" I replied, "6 lbs. 7 oz" he then said "hmmm, are you sure you are right on your dates?" I again replied, "yes." He then proceeded to tell me I was measuring larger than I was saying and then he said this, " I guess we will see next week at the ultra sound if there are one or two kiddos in there." He said it like it was no big deal, so of course I just acted like it was no big deal, but inside I was dying. What did he mean??? Like what were the chances??? These are probably some of the questions I should have asked instead of acting like it was no big deal and walking out the door!
So I scheduled the Ultra sound for actually two weeks from then, because we were going to be out of town the following week. The next two weeks were probably the longest two weeks of my life, and I probably should have just not gone out of town, but you know me FOMO kicked in and I can't miss a party! So the day came for the Ultra sound, Justin couldn't come with me because it was finals week and he had class the same time as my appointment, my mom couldn't come because she was having knee surgery the same day, so my sweet dad stepped in to be my moral support. Although at this point I was still in denial thinking there is no way it is twins. The ultra sound tech came to the waiting room and called my name, it was time!
I got in there laid on the bed pulled up my shirt, she squirted the cold goop on me, and not even five seconds into her putting it on my stomach she looks up and says I have to tell you something, "IT's TWINS!" I immediately shot up grabbed my nose and eyes to keep the floods from about to poor out. I was in total disbelief! My dad grabbed my leg and in that point I was totally comforted, I knew no matter what everyhing was going to be alright. We continued on with the ultra sound and she told me they were fraternal, both very healthy, and both were already starting to form there own placenta.
I was looking at a true live miracle. Already I could feel my love for them both so strong. Those were my babies! I then went through my entire list of people who had been waiting equally as long as me to tell them. Justin was in complete shock, as was I, but he was so sweet and tender, and just said "We can do this." As the time has passed, since I have found out, I have felt every emotion under the sun. I have felt moments of pure joy thinking I am the luckiest girl that I am going to be a mom of three children of God. Then I have felt the feeling of complete inadequacy, and thought I can't believe my Heavenly Father has entrusted me with two more of his precious angels. I then have felt guilt, why did this drug work for me, when so many others are still struggling to expand their families. I also have felt excitement, to be able to hold two precious newborns and get the opportunity to raise twins and see the magical bond that forms between them that I have seen with twins before. Next the obvious... terrified, how will I do it? How will I still provide for my family and be the Mom that I need to be to these precious gifts that I have recieved. Lastly I have felt love, from my husband, who has cleaned our house, done our laundry, and taken care of our Jonesy, because I have been too sick to any of those things. I have felt love from Jonesy who already has more love for these two babes then you can even imagine, and tells everyone her mom has two babies in her tummy. Lastly my two families have shown more love to me than ever before by ensuring me they will be here to help, and there is nothing to worry about!
I want to reiterate how blessed me and Justin feel, we are so excited and cannot wait to meet our two angels! My due date is February 2, 2017, and I'm pretty sure that is the day that will change our life forever. My aunt who has twins told me this "It will change your life for the better!" So heres to a better, crazier, fun life with two more littles! Bring it on whether we are ready or not! xoxo, JayCee